bellanova (nova21) wrote,
bellanova
nova21

  • Music:

still

Oh.My.God.

I had my first ever play staged tonight in the Brave New Playwrites festival at UBC.

I am so filled with gratitude. I sat and I removed myself from my writing self and decided simply to watch, not to be nervous, not to be the woman who had written the play, but just to watch. I coasted with the performance, sitting next to my director, my writer self noting that the audience LAUGHED in so many places I had never even thought possible. And I FELT the catharsis of my characters, I FELT for them. The actors were so loving, they loved those two women. After the lights went out following the final beat I started to sob. I couldn't stop myself. For so so so long I've just wanted to connect with people through my work, to share my work, to not be alone with my work, which is so difficult with fiction, fiction is so private it almost denies the public arena, it almost subverts it through its very form, and theatre, which I never thought I could love delivered to me tonight the very thing I felt I'd been missing. I completely broke down. Never before have I been able to share my work, and I mean share to the extent that the work no longer becomes yours but it becomes the work of THAT space and THAT moment and THOSE actors and THAT audience, it becomes organically the art of the moment, like music or like dance or like any human interaction. It wasn't even mine and that's why I cried, it belonged to every person in the room in those moments.

I am blessed I am blessed I am blessed to have had that experience, I am so greatful for all the people who came together to create those moments, to the director and the two actors and the two characters who somehow came out of me, and to my friends who were in the audience, which is probably the most emotional part for me, you want to share with your friends, that's what's important.

And then I had garlic fries and a crantini.

Thank you thank you thank you

on to the next moment
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